Unconfirmed Sources News Briefs- Monday- October 6- 2008

McCain Concedes Michigan? You Betcha!

Fresh off her stunning non-loss in Thursday night's debate with Joe Biden, the newly engineered Sarah Palin 2.0 was powered up on Friday only to find that her running mate John McCain had conceded Michigan to Barak Obama and sent his teams and resources to the more hotly contested American Samoa. Apparently, someone had neglected to input this data into Ms. Palin, who immediately and publicly pleaded to be allowed to take her husband Todd on a tour of an auto assembly plant there "where the people are hurtin", forgetting that the reason they're 'hurtin' is that no one's actually working in any of those auto plants any more.

Unnamed McCain Campaign Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, "We were gonna tell Sarah, but we figured if we tried to cram one more byte of new information into her CPU before the debate that her program would crash and default back into Couric 1.0 and our technicians spent far too much time reprogramming her for that to happen."