Los Angeles, CA (APE) - Television celebrity and multimillionaire Paris Hilton was today released from county jail, after having served five days of an original 45 day sentence. Correctional authorities remained closed lipped in regards to the circumstances for Hilton's early release but stated that she would now serve the remainder of her sentence under house arrest wearing an ankle bracelet at her own mansion. Federal corrections authorities in the nation's capital, citing a similar deterioration in the mental functioning of former vice presidential aide Scooter Libby since his sentencing earlier this week for perjury, stated that he will receive a matching ankle bracelet and have his sentence reduced to the same 45 day term allowing credit for time served. Libby will be flown cross-country tonight to began serving his sentence at Ms. Hilton's residence.
Ohhh, that is horrible! I think it's best we not tell you. We wouldn't want to spoil the surprise. Not much chance of that, because you will look awfully surprised when it happens.
Perceptive User 1: LOL
Perceptive User 2: LOL, ZOMG, LOLLERSKATES... LOL.
No? Well you should be, the latest news is you are about to get fired!
You win a punch in the face!
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