High Winds, Middle East Wins And Billy Ray's Chagrin- Unconfirmed Sources News Briefs- Sunday, February 20, 2011

White House Christmas Tree Blown Down! Impeach Obama, Stat!

High winds that engulfed the East Coast blew down the Christmas tree in front of the White House this weekend, the final proof for many Americans in the Tea Party and other conservative groups that United States President Barack Obama is a godless heathen. The Rev. Festus P. Hyman of The Church of God Loves Guns in Billings, Montana, in his Sunday sermon, said, "Would God let His only Son's birthday tree stand in front of the house of a socialist/muslim/radical/atheist/communist/democrat/foreigner? I don't think so, and I bet you don't either. If you don't, then you ain't no good Christian. That fact that the winds caused destruction all over the place just proves that God didn't do it just cause Bama is a knee-grow."